Bored Enough To Read the Spam…

No really. That. Bored.

In among the usual stuff someone sent some helpful advice on how to meet girls. My wife insists I’m not allowed, but I really do hate for good information to go to waste so I’ve decided to share it with you. Lucky you. The original comment was quite long and while I am versed and competent in the cut and paste thing, I’ve decided to provide the synopsis of said spam…

  1. Go to Mall
  2. Walk to Foodcourt
  3. Stand in Line
  4. Ask for Help

Not only will this help you meet girls, but it’s awesome advice for getting a new and improved burrito at the food court. I’m just helpful like that.

You’re welcome.

Stories

I sort of wonder why I have this site from time to time. I don’t think of myself as a writer. Sure I arrogantly think if I applied myself I might be able to come up with something worth the effort, but sadly my writing suffers from the same thing my golf game suffers from, lack of an applied work ethic. But I do like stories…

Neil Gaiman has a few collections of short stories. The stories are enjoyable, but admittedly my favorite part of the book is his introduction to them. He has a way of talking about stories, how things become stories that I find enlightening and entertaining. Enough so that on occasion I actually think maybe I could write if I applied myself.

That work ethic thing again.

I do have some material lodged in my brain I’ve been kicking around for years. Nothing that would make an actual story, just snippets of them, and normally that would be all there was to it. Things for me to daydream about when I had nothing else to do. But since I have a website (and frankly I’m the only one that reads it, so I can do whatever I want without fear of embarrassment) I think some of those bits and pieces will find their way here. Who knows, something might possibly come of it. Most likely though, it will simply keep me from feeling overly stupid for paying for a website that sits unused.

How to Smoke a Brisket

There are certain things a man should just know how to do, change the oil, change a tire, how to tie a tie, etc. Basic tasks that show being a man is more than simply a genetic quirk of fate. One of those things, especially for those of us in Texas, is smoking a brisket. You need a smoker, I use an old sportsman’s smoker my grandfather had, it’s about 30 years old, and I do sort of covet one of these… If you don’t want to pay that much you can get a decent one for about $100, or if you’re really on a budget even less. Don’t have any reservations about the last one, it’s still much more capable than the one I’m using, the most important part of this is knowing what you’re doing not the smoker.

I generally smoke something around a 6lb brisket, it fits on my smoker, in the container I use for the marinade, and feeds us quite nicely for a few days, all things you should consider before you start.

The Marinade

You need enough Coca Cola Classic to cover the brisket when it’s in whatever container you’ve chosen for the purpose. Generally for me that’s around 32 oz, I add in a bunch of onion salt, garlic salt, (as for how much, if you wonder if you’ve added enough, you haven’t) and somewhere around a cup of BBQ sauce. I use Stubb’s, but whatever you like should be fine. Mix all of that together then pour it over the brisket and put that in the fridge for somewhere between 12 to 24 hours.

The Smoking

Place your smoker where having hot coals falling through the bottom won’t create a problem you don’t want to deal with. If someone asks why you haven’t put your smoker on your deck like everyone else, say something sage such as “you do realize that would be putting a fire on a structural part of my house and intending for it to simmer there for the better part of 12 hours, right?” You want the cooking part of the smoker to be 200 to 225F. Mine is almost never that hot, and I’m always having to fiddle with it a bit to keep it close, so if you get a nice smoker that’s one less hassle. I also have to replace the coals once for a typical cooking session, so having something to start them in helps. I use a very effective metal trash can lid. For unknown reasons, I pour the marinade in the water tray, then fill it the rest of the way with water. Then I take kosher salt and McCormick Seasoned Pepper Blend (I’m sure black pepper works just as good, this is just one of those things I do) and coat the entire brisket with it. This is another of those areas where if you wonder if you’ve used enough, you haven’t. Put the brisket on the smoker fat side up and cook it for 1.5 to 2 hours a pound. If your smoker is holding the 200F thing consistently, then you’re probably going to be at the 1.5 hour mark. The fat side up part really has no relevance to the cooking of the brisket, but much like the designated hitter rule, you are expected to have an opinion on whether to cook them fat side up or down. So while you may be able to cook a perfectly tasty brisket fat side down, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re doing it wrong, just like the designated hitter rule. Wrong.

It’s Done

Get yourself a meat thermometer, maybe if you’re really good at this you can do without it, but if you’re just one of us regular guys, you need one. You’d like the temperature to be 180 or so (I find that 165 or up seems to be OK, so long as it’s been on the smoker for the 2 hour per pound bit) and up to 200 is fine if you aren’t yet ready to eat. When it starts getting close, I wrap the brisket in foil and leave it on the smoker, I’m not sure it makes any difference at all, but the guy that taught me how to do this did that, so I do it too.

When you’re done, take it off the smoker, let it set for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, slice it across the grain and enjoy.

You Don’t See Things My Way…

so you need to be educated.

The American public…just like your teenage kids, aren’t acting in a way that they should act,” Dr. Chu said. “The American public has to really understand in their core how important this issue is.

*

Decisions Affecting an Individual

are best made by the individual affected. *

When The Truth Doesn’t Get You What You Want…

Everywhere Czars…

Health Insurance Reform

A decent place to start…

Cost and control, pre-existing conditions and covering the uninsured, those are the problems with our current system. The care part of our healthcare is very good. Eliminating or minimizing government’s role in your healthcare (or your life in general) is even better.

In pretty much all things, I fall back to the belief that decisions affecting an individual, are best made by the individual affected. The arrogance of making those decisions for someone else because they might make the wrong one just doesn’t sit well. Of course poor decisions are sometimes difficult to live with, but there is something extra maddening when those decisions most affecting you are made by someone else.

When it’s your life, you should have control over it. I do believe that was the intent behind the life part of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

via Ace

Healthcare Reform in one Paragraph…

Short. Simple. To the point.


I’ve said this before but what the hell: When people say they want “health care reform,” they all mean the same thing. They all want better service than they’re receiving now and they want to pay less money for it. In other words, they want the government to subsidize them. Which means they want some other taxpayer partly paying their expenses.

I’m not against the government getting involved in healthcare specifically, I’m against the government getting involved in anything it can avoid. Admittedly, there are problems (preexisting conditions, insurance tied to employment, other stuffs too) with our current system but addressing those problems seems to be only a starting point for throwing the entire system under the bus in a move to get the government more involved.

I don’t care what it is, I dont’ want the government more involved.

Some Artistic Healthcare

I prefer my government to be small and out of the way and fairly unobtrusive in the manner it interacts with my life. I understand the need for some taxes to fund some of the essentials (defense, law enforcement, the building and maintenance of some highways maybe) but otherwise I’d like to not be overly reminded of its existence. But now it looks like there’s a movement to insert a little bit more of the government’s view of things into the art world.

This is a perfect example of why I want the government to be small and unobtrusive. People always have an agenda, everyone does, and they will always find a way to try to further it. That is human nature. So from where I sit the problem isn’t so much that the NEA might be trying to do this, I think that is pretty much to be expected, the problem is that they have been provided with the tools to do this at all.